To Speak In Love

To Whom It May Concern:

 

Since I seem to be stricken with the topic of love, why not view some different concepts and aspects of this magnanimous subject?

 

We have already looked at how 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 defines love:

          “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

 

And we have also contemplated a bit of how the world views love:

          “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”- Christian (Moulin Rouge)

“Love? Above all things I believe in love! Love is like oxygen. Love is a many-splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!”- Christian (Moulin Rouge)

 

I hope we have established by now, the fact that God is love. The ultimate Agape Love, where none compares. It’s funny to think about how the Beetles have taught us that “All you need is love.” While keeping that line fresh in your mind, think back to God being love. If we were to interchange God and the word “love,” it would read, “All you need is God.” The world totally has it down! They just don’t know it. That, my friends, is one of the many signs of deception.

Now that I have established these points; let’s talk about relationships.

Instead of discussing the topic of relationships restricted to those of only romantic concern; I would like to embark on an adventure where all relationships are considered in whole. Stay with me, it’s not so complicated.

Whenever I talk about any relationship with my family or cohorts, I refer to it as a muscle. Yes, relationships are like muscles. How does a muscle become stronger? Anyone who has worked out before should know that in the midst of their exercises and training; they are tearing down their muscles. There is a reason that people cannot work-out continuously without periods of rest and that is due to the muscles’ neccessity to recover. After a muscle heals, it is not only larger, but stronger. With friends and lovers, our relationships will not and cannot grow without a tear from time to time. Whether that tear is caused by a fight or even an outside source and whether we like it or not; these biffs are not only just needed, but absolutely required! I’m not hinting that we should go and create arguments and drama with one another, as all that comes in time either way, but to maybe be thankful when they do arrive and are overcome.

Relationships also do not grow by fights alone, but sometimes when one is willing enough to confront someone when they are in the wrong. I’m not advising you to point out when disagreement is evident with someone, but when you notice that something is not of the Lord. And, it must be done out of love.

1 Cor. 13: 1-3

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.”

 

Wow, that is intense. Bravo Paul.

Also, if you notice; a lot of times people will come together to work out. Almost like an accountability program to ensure that each remains in accordance to their committed work-out routine. People grow together sometimes by facing trials together.

Listen carefully now, as the reason for my writing of this piece is revealed. How else is muscle built aside from tearing it down? It’s a Monday morning and you’re at the gym. All the body builders are inside pumping weight that is equivalent to four of you and one of your fat, Great-Aunt Polly. Behind all of the tearing down a muscle goes through, there is another requirement; a diet. People who look to build their muscles are downing these shakes and drinks filled with Protein. Protein helps to aid in the building of muscles. It is a nutrient needed by our bodies. Nutritionists recommend a regular intake of protein to be 15% of one’s diet or .36 grams per pound of body weight per day. How does this connect to a relationship being like a muscle? Well now, let me tell you.

Like feeding our muscles protein, we must also feed our relationships. How often do we actually tell people who are close just how much they mean to us? This is one of the hardest things for people, and even me. Through telling someone how much they mean to us, we make ourselves vulnerable to them. To open up and share what lies deep within our hearts requires an immense amount of trust. I am usually pretty good at conveying my feelings to people, but even this area of doing so is incredibly difficult for me to accomplish. We all need to hear how much we mean to someone. At least I know I do. It is a comforting thing, and it builds a foundation. I don’t like to assume that I am important to someone, as assumptions can be often-times incorrect.

I’m not talking about telling everyone the shallow “I love you.” Mean it if you say it, if not, then don’t pervert the phrase. I’m talking about those who are close to us. Be honest; in sense of encouragement though. I would never want to hear about how much I don’t mean to someone.

We always hear, “Tell them how you feel, as you may not always have the chance to.” Not always having the chance to refers to death. That subject goes on to present how we will regret if we do not do so. As cliché as this is; it’s definitely the truth. As I was thinking about people that I love, and what it would be like if they died without me being able to truly express to them how much they mean to me.. my heart broke.

I am currently faced with the reality of having to say good-bye once again to a dear friend of mine. This man, aside from blood, is my brother. He was the first one I have truly ever looked up to. He taught me not only what it was like to have a Godly brother that I could wish to be like, but exhorted me in the ways of the Lord. I have to give God credit to being my hero first and foremost, but this man is definitely His sidekick. This man’s name is Brian Mede. He was there for me in ways no one has ever been. He was the first youth pastor to take a real interest in me, and worked to be my friend. After becoming my friend, he pursued to be one of my greatest mentors by not only discipling me, but being used by God to show me the correct return-route when backslidden in the 9^th grade. Through-out this time I grew to love Brian, and refused to see him as any less than a best friend and brother. I don’t think that I will ever be able to express how important he is to me in my entire lifetime. Off the top of my head I can name a select few people outside my family that I absolutely need in my life, and he is one of them. I don’t think he will ever understand just how much he means to me. But how would he ever come close to understanding, if I never attempt to tell him? To say all this to his face has proven to be quite difficult. I think it’s especially hard because I am a guy and am not so open with feelings like a woman would be with her best friend. Guys are portrayed as brutes and warriors who have no feelings or cares. They play football, and enjoy inflicting pain on one another. I don’t think that people tell each other enough how much they mean to one another. This is the protein that a muscle requires. I think that the way I feel for my dearest friends are not for the weak at heart, but I think everyone feels this way towards those closest to us in our lives. 

I don’t need to type up any specific verse to prove to you that God is constantly telling us how much he loves and cares for us. It is through-out the whole entire Bible. He did more than say how much He loves us; He literally gave his only begotten Son. I realize now, that I don’t need to only feel the reciprocated love from a romantic source, but also from a source of platonic-nature. We all do.

Here is a point that I need to delve on. As God continually makes clear His love for us, it is essential that we remind Him of the love we have for Him. What’s that? You say that He already knows? Well that doesn’t matter. Because in reminding Him how much we love Him, we place the very fact fresh in our own minds, thus helping us to keep a clear focus on Him. Remember feeding protein to our relationship with God is necessary. Also remember that every relationship requires a tearing of the muscle to grow. A couple ways that is done with our relationship with God:

1). When we backslide, but overcome our dark times; we grow even closer to the Lord, and are more reliant on Him. It also helps us to understand a bit of His ways. Now none of us need go and purposely fall, because we are always falling in our short-comings. And we all have those dark periods in our lives.

2). Going through trials not only perfect us, but they teach us patience in our Father. Through the perfection trials cause in us, a perfection is caused in our relationship with Him as we learn to rely and trust in Him.

 

As relationships go through many testings, so does our’s with God.

Learn to feed your relationships protein. It is an overlooked ingredient that is more than necessary. It is desired by all.

 

-Midnight

As a child I remember praying that the Lord would provide me a Jonathon in my life and He has.  Brian Mede is that Jonathon. (1 Samuel 20:41-42)

 

 

 

 

 

The Purpose Of A Blog

To whom it may concern:

I felt strangely inspired to write about this. Often people use blogs to say what exciting thing has just happened in their life, or what drama is going on. While the first part can be entertaining and fun to read, the second would be a pass for me.

Blogging can be a useful and effective way of keeping friends, family and acquaintances updated on what you are up to in life. They can also be very useful to present ways of thinking, opinions about certain subjects, viewpoints, or writings to cause the reader to think about complex ideas. All of these can be made to be interesting, at times refreshing, but most of all a good way for people to learn a little about how you think.

I do not think blogging should be a place for you to rant and complain about how life sucks, and then list one by one everything terrible in your life. First of all, that is a waste of Internet space. Second, do you honestly think that you’re the only one who is going through something? Third, this way of blogging brings negative attention to the writer, especially if the reader does not know the writer all that well. Think about it. If you don’t know someone very well and then you read a blog full of a “Crapstorm” of drama, that can be quite the mighty first impression. I understand the occasional need to vent. We all need it, but once you blog it, there’s no telling how many people will read it and you can’t take words back. Also, how much of yourself do you really want to give away to people?

I will not intend for this blog-site to be a place to rattle out all of my problems for the world to see, but to relay some of the lessons and aspects of the problems for the reader to investigate. Why is this? Because while we may not all be going through identical trials, doesn’t mean that we aren’t being taught similar principles by the Lord. A good example of this would be Courtney posting a link to my previous blog in one of her’s. While she and I weren’t dealing with the same issue in particular, the lessons correlated.

I want my blogs to be an encouragement for those that are hurting. Sometimes it helps to see that others are going through fires too and it’s cool to be able to relate to one another. When I’m hit with the realization of something I become stoked, and want to show everyone the exciting things that God is doing in my life.

I am a thinker and analyst. I hope to produce writings that will cause readers to think. I also want to exhort you to truly seek the Lord, and to try and look at things not only biblically, but how we can apply lessons spiritually. I’m not a teacher. I do not preach. All I want is for the reader to think.

And remember, if you look, God can be found.

 

-Midnight

 

Jesus Took The Wheel, But I Still Have Road-Rage

To whom it may concern:

Even after learning how to give everything over to the Lord and how to rely on Him, it’s extremely difficult to remain calm in the process. I trust the Lord with the most tedious of things, but I’m still flailing in the passenger seat. Anyone have road-rage here? I do.

I’ll be driving all calm and collected, and then, BAM! I just got cut off… if I have to hit my breaks at all, and I’m in a rush to get somewhere.. I’m usually pretty pissed with raised hands and mouthing, “What the hell?” Yeah, don’t judge me, we all have a bit of it in us. It’s just that stupid drivers really tick me off.. sometimes I will even catch myself thinking, “Nobody in California knows how to drive..well, except me.” Yeah, I’m sure.

Today I was driving to jury duty and I’m on the phone with my friend Kylie. I’m talking and I notice this lady driving some sort of expedition/suv drifting in and out of my lane. “Ok, that’s weird. It’s a bit early to have been drinking Missy” I’m thinking. As I drive past, I see that she’s on her cell phone. I say out loud, “Oh my gosh, get off your phone stupid and drive.” Kylie starts laughing and I’m like, “Ah, dangit.” Haha.

Now to move on with my next point (yes, that rambling was a point). I always arrive at my destination safely and everything works out fine. It’s almost as though I never needed to freak out at all and cause all that unnecessary stress right?

It’s so funny how driving can be related to our actual lives and how we go about them. God knows where He is taking me. I will arrive at my destination safely. So why am I freaking out? A bit of road-rage in all of us is inevitable. Perhaps, it’s the same with life. I used to get down on myself quite a bit. For example, I’d say I’m trusting in God with something, right? But I’m still freaking out all along the way. I’d start thinking, ”Oh, if you were really trusting in God, you would be at peace right now. Stop being a hypocrite.” I have finally realized it. Just because I’m trusting in God and placing my faith in Him, doesn’t mean that I’m not going to wonder about the route that He’s taking to get me to where I need to be. It almost feels as though it’s all just condemnation, which we all know is from Satan. Anything to discourage me from making a decision that will draw me closer to my God. Occasionally (in my case, usually) I will freak out. I always want to know what’s going on and what’s ahead; that way I know what to expect. A bit of the time, I’m a future-focused person. That can be good. That can be bad. I find myself anxious over the most ridiculous of things, and worried about issues out of my control. It can be agonizing when something is out of my control. I always feel like I could have done something in a situation to have caused things to be different; creating a better outcome. The more I try, and sometimes the more I am involved; the worse the outcome.

Right now, life is frustrating. I am unhappy and discontent, but I have the joy of my Father. Thinking upon His faithfulness and grace literally gets me through the day sometimes. 

So yes, Jesus took the wheel, but I still have road-rage. And you know what? That’s alright. I don’t really think that God expects us to understand His ways entirely (if at all), nor to sit back sedated and apathetic while life takes it’s sharp turns and occasional flat tire. I will still have faith at the end of the day. 

I guess I should be asking now, “Are we almost there yet?”

 

-Midnight

Midnight Lullabies

I am Midnight, the lonely musician,

My one companion is asleep,

dreaming til the sun sheds his light.

I write songs for the stars,

of the vast night sky,

I play them every night to wait and see,

If someday by chance, a star may flicker,

and perhaps, even notice me.

 

Hear my mournful melodies,

shudder through nighttime breeze,

I’ll play them ever softly,

Midnight lullabies.

 

I’ll lay down in an open field,

with only a book in hand,

as I write, my songs will sing,

secret prayers to my king.

 

The moon with its silver rays,

enchant me, so serene.

I will write, by its light,

be a muse and inspire me.

 

My name is Midnight, the lonely musician,

I wander aimlessly through the night,

knowing that nothing is alright,

I lay my head on a softer patch of grass.

My soul, it panders that grave melody,

hushes my crying heart to sleep,

Midnight lullabies.

 

-Midnight

 

 

 

 

Not Destined For A Life Of Loneliness

To whom it may concern:

Jer. 29:11

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

 Gen 1:20-22

“..But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”

 Gen 1:24

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

 ”Life is full of disappointments.” We have all heard this time and time again. As I contemplate this phrase, my heart is filled with a strange sense of peace, because disappointments are to be expected. The upside of all this is that, where one disappointment lies, a better alternative can be found just around the corner.  Love seems to be one of the greatest inspirers of all time. We see all over the map of this world; writer after writer conveying this beautiful being named “Love.” Lately, I have been consumed by this very concept.

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”- Christian (Moulin Rouge)

“Love? Above all things I believe in love! Love is like oxygen. Love is a many-splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!”- Christian (Moulin Rouge)

 Those quotes, though from an interesting source, speak deep to my heart, but they are bleak! The reason God created us with such a strong desire to find someone to give our hearts to and the desire to know and feel love in return isn’t merely for an earthly spouse. Could it be perhaps, that this very concept instilled in us was created for a heavenly spouse? For Him? He even went as far as to sacrficing His Son so that we could have the ability to do so. There are many reasons for us to love in this world, but if we forget who our first love is; it will defeat the whole purpose of loving at all. And how could we forget? God is love.

Romans 8:28

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

 For once in my life, I can honestly say that I’m not afraid of the future. I still wonder how everything will place and fit together, but I am one of the many that are called according to God’s purpose. This means that, if something is meant to be by God’s will, it’s going to happen. As I am human and inside the box; I can only catch glimpses of what is outside of the box. If I shove God in this box with me, I’m only restricting what He can do.

Some day God will bless me with a precious gift. I don’t know her name, nor what she looks like, but she’ll be mine to hold and to cherish above all the precious materials of this world. She will be more than my world, and I will be able to give her all this love stored within me, love greater than the universe itself.. the best love man is able to give. I will belong to her, and her to me.

 Hebrews 11:1

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

 I will have faith in my God.

 So right now, it may be the greatest possibility that I am to be romantically lonely. This could be the case, or maybe that corner is closer than I thought, I can’t know for sure, as God is outside this box. I look to my future with hope, faith and above all, love, ingrained deep within my heart because..

I am not destined for a life of loneliness.

 

-Midnight

 

Like Adam, a piece of me is missing, but someday God will return it to me.

 

Thought-Bound

To whom it may concern:

Interestingly enough, even though the title causes the reader to believe that I am on a path towards thought, I am truly referring to being bound by thought.

I’m often referred to as one who thinks too often. So many times I find myself paralyzed in a situation. Not only do I bring to mind all the possible choices I could make, but the possible future each may induce. Then I take that to the next level and question all heart’s desire, and what is truly needed. After that I will attempt to shove God in a box and request many signs of some sort. This way of living, no, this way of dying is driving my mind into the ground.

I want to leap without having first to ask: Where am I leaping? What kind of surface will I be landing on? How much energy will I need? Am I wearing the right shoes? The right clothes? Should someone else leap with me? Is it safe for two people? Should I tell someone? should I not? Should I stretch out first? Should I do some training first? How far should I leap? How high? Do I really want to? Do I need to? Is it ok to?

Not only do I want to leap without asking the questions, but I want to leap without having to go over in my mind all the pro’s and con’s of each possible answer.

I’m ready to make a decision on a whim, to trust in God to carry me through. So long as I make sure He has His say, and that I am obedient. I almost don’t want to think about it. I want to feel the rush of a risk, knowing that I took no precautions. Like a personality test; what is the first answer that comes to mind? I’m afraid to do what I have always desired to do because of previous outcomes. If I don’t take the chance that has been presented, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I’m scared, but courage has never been the absence of fear.

I’m ready to jump, but I can’t do it alone.

I need someone to help me not over-think.

Will you take my hand, and jump with me?

 

-Midnight

An Untitled Feeling, and Untitled Wish

 

Shadows and glimpses, beauty untold.

A wisp, a fairy, rarely here to behold,

The talk of our hearts, the singing of our minds,

The concept I wished to be mine.

 

Flourishing like a rose,

As dew drops gently glide on petals,

My feelings to be once again disposed,

Success? I fear the outcome looks fatal.

 

The rose doesn’t belong to me,

But so my heart does not either,

To regain the sincerity of being free,

To regain the idea of belonging to me,

The fulfillment of this concept to be neither.

 

The crescent moon stands tall,

Parading in the soft velvet dress called night,

Her ethereal light gleams on the tip of a petal.

Like a bell that tolls,

The wind faintly calls,

I beg thee sleep to take me in her arms,

And merely hold me tight.

 

Dream of a rose if I may,

Dream of a heart to take,

Dream of freedom as I lay,

To toss and turn, for only…..

 

 

 

…..To wake.

 

- Midnight

 

(Written July 29, 2007)

To My One and Only

When I look in your eyes, I get lost in your world.

When I hear your voice, it’s like a song from Heaven,

Which takes me on an adventure of walking on streets of gold,

 and taking pictures by gates of pearl.

All I see is you.

What is this spell that has me mystified?

I’m done denying that I love you.

I am your’s, will you be mine?

Take my hand, I will hold your’s tight; never to let go.

Then as I pull you closer to me, fall into my arms; never to be released.

Then as my lips touch yours, all fireworks will ignite; setting the sky a-glow.

I will feel that magic, and know you’re forever mine and that I.. Will be forever your’s.

You will turn this hopeless romantic into a hopeless lover and

We will dance the night away,

 we will kiss beneath the moonlight.

I am waiting for you at the end of a flower-laiden path.

Wear a dress of white.

Come, make me your knight.

You are the song of my soul, as it pierces me deeper than words alone.

Let’s love each other past the end of time,

As you will always be my world, my reason.

I am your’s..

Will you be mine?

 

 

(If only I had someone to give this to.)

-Midnight

What is Love? Baby Don’t Hurt Me.

 To whom it may concern:

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all tings. Love never fails…”

 

 

So I have been wondering for quite some time now. Is there truly one person set apart for us by God? A person that is His perfect will.. and those that are ok with God merely His permissive will? Such as… Two people are in love, they are both christians and are following the Lord. They pray about marriage, God says ‘no’. A year later, the man of the relationship meets a woman, falls in love (yes, she is a christian), God says ‘yes.’ That to me is proof right there that God has a set “One” for everyone.. but as I talk with others, I seem to be faced with disagreements about this subject time to time.. God has a plan for our lives, right? Our future is mapped out in His will, right? So that must mean, even our love life is planned and mapped.

 

While I believe all of this, it just makes everything so much harder. It’s like trying to find the one grey marble in a jar full of black marbles.. and what if I’m so stuck on someone being my one.. and then she isn’t? But say for some reason I can’t get past it; couldn’t that lead to me not even noticing the right one?

 

Am I maybe just over complicating all of this?

 

I decided that I’m not allowed to like people anymore. haha, yeah.. Or at least when I have a passing crush, I’m going to just keep it to myself.. as I tend to be fickle/wishy-washy.

I long for love, but I’m not desperate. To me, other than God, love is the greatest thing this life has to offer and without it, life would not be worth living.. so I guess I should be pretty thankful for my savior..

 

-Midnight

Worldly Knowledge

To whom it may concern:

You Could have attained all the knowledge you or the world may desire, but have you not the Godly wisdom in how to utilize it; then it lacks in comparison to anything that could possibly be assumed great.

1 Cor. 1: 19, 20-

“For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent. Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this world? Hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?”

Wisdom and knowledge apart from our God has its niceties, and may help when spoken through common logic, but overall is nothing compared to the wisdom that God offers to all of mankind.

-Midnight