Thought-Bound

To whom it may concern:

Interestingly enough, even though the title causes the reader to believe that I am on a path towards thought, I am truly referring to being bound by thought.

I’m often referred to as one who thinks too often. So many times I find myself paralyzed in a situation. Not only do I bring to mind all the possible choices I could make, but the possible future each may induce. Then I take that to the next level and question all heart’s desire, and what is truly needed. After that I will attempt to shove God in a box and request many signs of some sort. This way of living, no, this way of dying is driving my mind into the ground.

I want to leap without having first to ask: Where am I leaping? What kind of surface will I be landing on? How much energy will I need? Am I wearing the right shoes? The right clothes? Should someone else leap with me? Is it safe for two people? Should I tell someone? should I not? Should I stretch out first? Should I do some training first? How far should I leap? How high? Do I really want to? Do I need to? Is it ok to?

Not only do I want to leap without asking the questions, but I want to leap without having to go over in my mind all the pro’s and con’s of each possible answer.

I’m ready to make a decision on a whim, to trust in God to carry me through. So long as I make sure He has His say, and that I am obedient. I almost don’t want to think about it. I want to feel the rush of a risk, knowing that I took no precautions. Like a personality test; what is the first answer that comes to mind? I’m afraid to do what I have always desired to do because of previous outcomes. If I don’t take the chance that has been presented, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I’m scared, but courage has never been the absence of fear.

I’m ready to jump, but I can’t do it alone.

I need someone to help me not over-think.

Will you take my hand, and jump with me?

 

-Midnight