Jesus Took The Wheel, But I Still Have Road-Rage

To whom it may concern:

Even after learning how to give everything over to the Lord and how to rely on Him, it’s extremely difficult to remain calm in the process. I trust the Lord with the most tedious of things, but I’m still flailing in the passenger seat. Anyone have road-rage here? I do.

I’ll be driving all calm and collected, and then, BAM! I just got cut off… if I have to hit my breaks at all, and I’m in a rush to get somewhere.. I’m usually pretty pissed with raised hands and mouthing, “What the hell?” Yeah, don’t judge me, we all have a bit of it in us. It’s just that stupid drivers really tick me off.. sometimes I will even catch myself thinking, “Nobody in California knows how to drive..well, except me.” Yeah, I’m sure.

Today I was driving to jury duty and I’m on the phone with my friend Kylie. I’m talking and I notice this lady driving some sort of expedition/suv drifting in and out of my lane. “Ok, that’s weird. It’s a bit early to have been drinking Missy” I’m thinking. As I drive past, I see that she’s on her cell phone. I say out loud, “Oh my gosh, get off your phone stupid and drive.” Kylie starts laughing and I’m like, “Ah, dangit.” Haha.

Now to move on with my next point (yes, that rambling was a point). I always arrive at my destination safely and everything works out fine. It’s almost as though I never needed to freak out at all and cause all that unnecessary stress right?

It’s so funny how driving can be related to our actual lives and how we go about them. God knows where He is taking me. I will arrive at my destination safely. So why am I freaking out? A bit of road-rage in all of us is inevitable. Perhaps, it’s the same with life. I used to get down on myself quite a bit. For example, I’d say I’m trusting in God with something, right? But I’m still freaking out all along the way. I’d start thinking, ”Oh, if you were really trusting in God, you would be at peace right now. Stop being a hypocrite.” I have finally realized it. Just because I’m trusting in God and placing my faith in Him, doesn’t mean that I’m not going to wonder about the route that He’s taking to get me to where I need to be. It almost feels as though it’s all just condemnation, which we all know is from Satan. Anything to discourage me from making a decision that will draw me closer to my God. Occasionally (in my case, usually) I will freak out. I always want to know what’s going on and what’s ahead; that way I know what to expect. A bit of the time, I’m a future-focused person. That can be good. That can be bad. I find myself anxious over the most ridiculous of things, and worried about issues out of my control. It can be agonizing when something is out of my control. I always feel like I could have done something in a situation to have caused things to be different; creating a better outcome. The more I try, and sometimes the more I am involved; the worse the outcome.

Right now, life is frustrating. I am unhappy and discontent, but I have the joy of my Father. Thinking upon His faithfulness and grace literally gets me through the day sometimes. 

So yes, Jesus took the wheel, but I still have road-rage. And you know what? That’s alright. I don’t really think that God expects us to understand His ways entirely (if at all), nor to sit back sedated and apathetic while life takes it’s sharp turns and occasional flat tire. I will still have faith at the end of the day. 

I guess I should be asking now, “Are we almost there yet?”

 

-Midnight